On Why I Hate Conn’s

My credit sucks, okay? Really badly.

I’m trying to improve it, but part of the problem with improving your credit is that you need to get some in the first place to improve it. To get credit you have to have credit. My brain hurts.

Anyway, because we’re moving into the new place we need to buy a refrigerator. I was debating going to one of the rental places just until I had enough saved to buy one. On a whim, I applied for credit at Conn’s website.

The next day during lunch I received a phone call from their credit department telling me I had a $1000 credit line which pleased me to no end! I could get a refrigerator, then once I paid that off, turn around and get a washer and a dryer. Plus I’d be rebuilding my credit at the same time.

Just to keep tabs here, we’re talking at least $1200-1500 worth of merchandise right off the bat within 3-4 months, plus much more — we’ll eventually need a new dishwasher, a stove, lawnmower, etc.

Conn’s sales “representatives” (and I use that word loosely) work for commission. Every sale they make they get a cut of, so of course walking into the place I was preparing for the “vulture” syndrome of places that are commission-based.

As we walked to the door we witness–no lie–two Sales Vultures flipping a coin to see who got our sale. We ended up with a somewhat nice lady who at first seemed well enough, but every second I spent with the commission buzzard led me to believe otherwise.

First it was her “small talk.” She asked me a question about what I’m needing a new refrigerator for, and when I told her that I was moving into a new house it was like I wasn’t even speaking at all. She did this later while we sat filling out paperwork, and I mentioned that I was enjoying the “Lois & Clark: The Adventures of Superman” series on their TV’s. Again, like I wasn’t even speaking. After that I just stopped speaking with her about anything but my paperwork.

Okay, getting back to the problem at hand. I gave her all the paperwork the credit guy told me to bring. After a few minutes of fumbling around on her computer (I swear to god this was her first day or something), she went and talked to the manager for about 30 minutes with no updates.

Then she came back and asked me to give her practically my whole life story. Personal references, previous employers, previous residences, my first born child, the pinky on my left hand, and a digital print of my eyeball. I obliged, begrugingly.

2 hours later I still had no refrigerator, and they were still debating every line on my paperwork. She would say “Just 5 more minutes,” which would turn into 30 minutes. Each time she just sat there fumbling on her computer, ignoring any response I gave her.

Dying of hunger (since we had been there for 2 1/2 hours for what should have taken less than an hour), we just left the paperwork with the inept woman and went to dinner before all the restaurants closed.

Today I got no less than 5 phone calls between the creditor and the stupid saleswoman, asking for more and more and more information. They didn’t like that my cell phone was prepaid, so they asked for another line or a home phone. Then the woman actually ASKED me if I could get a land-line phone instead of a cell phone. I only responded “Yes I could, but I’m not GOING TO. I have a cell phone.”

Then they asked if I could supply someone else’s phone bill contract instead of mine. I asked “This is my credit app, doesn’t it all have to match my name?” She explained that her manager would “accept” it. I was already uncomfortable with the whole situation at that point, and that last line sounded not only bad, but also illegal.

I told her I’d call her back, then about 10 minutes later I called back and let into the woman. I told her how what should have been a simple process turned into a nightmare experience and I was feeling uncomfortable with her and her whole company. I told her to rip up my credit app and never contact me again, I would be purchasing my appliances through their competitor.

Now I understand that credit applications can be a lengthy process, but it wasn’t just the information she was wanting. It was the fact that she wasn’t paying attention to anything I was saying (even correcting her typing mistakes on the computer), and that she was willing to do anything–even illegal or amoral–to get her precious sale on nothing but a $400 refrigerator.

CONN’S MANAGEMENT, If you are reading/listening: you need to train your employees in the proper LEGAL way to deal with customers. You have turned a potential long-time customer into an enemy, and it’s an enemy with a very LOUD voice on the internet.

Seriously, get your shit together.