Kitchen Nightmares

When I moved into the new house, I knew that a few things were going to have to be done. First I needed to buy a refrigerator, and we know how that turned out. Second would have to have something done about my ancient kitchen appliances.

The dishwasher didn’t work from day one, but I’ve lived with and without one so often it doesn’t phase me much. The stove, however, was a complete disaster. I would not be surprised if either one were older than me, mostly due to the hideous 70′s olive green color.

The main problem with the stove was that none of the dials have any indicators on them. Luckily since it’s a gas range, I can just look at the flame and know how hot it is. The oven is an entirely different matter, as anything requiring baking usually denotes being set at a particular temperature.

I requested them both to be fixed and today the contractor for the property manager delivered a brand new stove and dishwasher. That is the very happy and pleasant part of this story.

The next is not.

The contractor and his crew were busy taking out the old dishwasher when suddenly they were surprised by something they found. I hear “is that a SQUIRREL?!” coming from the kitchen. For fans of the show Pushing Daisies, you will enjoy this next part:

The facts are these: At 2 years, 5 months, 15 days, 5 hours, 12 minutes and 32 seconds of its short life, an innocent squirrel found his way into a vacant house. While exploring his newfound territory in frightful glee, this tiny woodland creature found himself lodged between the floor and the ancient dish washing appliance above. The squirrel did not immediately panic until he saw the dead mouse that had suffered a similar fate, and promptly had a heart attack.

Okay, okay, I don’t know if he had a heart attack, but THERE WAS A DEAD SQUIRREL UNDERNEATH MY DISHWASHER — and his dead friend, the mouse.

After the immediate disposal and recovery of my senses, I had to share the experience to the internet at large. Mostly because it was one of those “If I had to know about it and suffer, so should everyone else”.

I posted the following on Twitter:
“OMG The guys installing my new dishwasher found a dead squirrel and a dead mouse underneath! *BARF*”

To which spurred the following conversation on FriendFeed:

And now I can share this disgusting story with everyone else forever. Thank you, Internet.