Twenty-Five Things about Haggis

1. My middle name is Casey, which is my dad’s last name. My mom and dad were never married so I have her last name. This is good because I’m the last male Loyless born in my immediate family.
2. I was raised by my Mom and my sister, who is almost 8 years older than me. They are both strong independent women and trained me to be a man who has no problem cooking or doing laundry.
3. I shoplifted a LOT during my teenage years. Mostly comic books and candy.
4. I have an unhealthy obsession with pop culture. I have endless trivia knowledge of celebrities and musicians, yet most days I’m lucky to remember to take my cell phone places.
5. The first full novel I read as a child was The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. I learned how to read on that book.
6. I once dyed my hair Manic Panic Electric Blue. It lasted two days until I was an idiot and got in the swimming pool, then I had grayish-green hair for 28 more days.
7. At age 4, I was so excited to go to school I packed a bag of marshmallows and thermos full of water in my sister’s Happy Days lunch box, and got on the school bus with the girl that lived next door. The only reason I could even get on the bus is because there was a substitute bus driver that day.
8. I played the drums in a shitty high school band. We even put on a concert!
9. I also play the acoustic guitar, but not too well either. I taught myself by reading tablature for songs I liked. I can play “A Letter to Elise” by The Cure all the way through, and bits and pieces of other songs.
10. I lost my virginity at the age of 14 in the woods of a public park that me and my girlfriend had snuck off to. I had mosquito bites in unmentionable places for a week afterwards.
11. I didn’t travel much when I was a kid, but since I’ve been an adult I’ve been to almost half the states in the country, Mexico, and the Bahamas. I love to travel.
12. I was a DJ for over 2 years when I lived in Houston, my DJ company was called “One Fry Short Productions.” I played mostly private parties and crappy bars, but I did get to DJ at the ToC Bar a couple nights.
13. I left Houston because I needed to start over. My life was pretty horrible at the time I left, I was almost homeless and had been unemployed for almost six months. Coming to San Antonio was a great decision, and likely saved my life.
14. I’m terrible at most sports. You’d think with all the video games I play I’d have better hand-eye coordination, but I don’t. The only professional sport I ever got into was Swim Team in high school, and I moved to a city that didn’t have one the next year.
15. What I want more than anything else in this world is to be a father. I’ve wanted it since I was a teenager. I can’t wait to teach my children all of my useless knowledge and embarass them at public events.
16. I almost died one night due to drunk driving. I was drinking everclear with my friends, and I was riding in the back seat of their car when my friend and his girlfriend got into a screaming argument. They told me to drive my friends car back to her house and asked me if I was okay, and I told them I was. I don’t remember any of that. I remember almost passing out in the back seat and then suddenly I was in an MRI tube getting my head examined for a concussion. I apparently ran right through a stop sign and an 18-wheeler hit the front of the car. Another two feet closer and I wouldn’t be typing this right now. I refuse to drive drunk now, and I get really upset with my friends who attempt to.
17. I *LOVE* video games. It started with my Grandad’s Colecovision and grew from there. I mostly play PC and Wii games now. I will kick your ass in Street Fighter 2: Turbo Edition
18. I was the first person in my entire family to graduate college. Actually I was the first person in my family to even go to college. My diploma is stained with my mothers tears.
19. One of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride, and I can quote it all day long. I’m a big romantic at heart. “As you wish.”
20. I have a HUGE sweet tooth. Candy, ice cream, whatever. The only kind of dessert I don’t like is cheesecake. Yeah, I said it: I don’t like cheesecake. What you gonna do about it?
21. I am double-jointed in all my fingers. I would show you a picture, but it seems to gross everyone out.
22. I can say the litany from Dune by memory: “I must not fear, fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I must face my fear, I must permit it to pass over and through me. When the fear has gone past me I will turn to see fear’s path. Where the fear has gone there is nothing, only I will remain.” This got me through many difficult moments in high school.
23. I am a green belt in Kung-Fu. I started taking classes after a redneck bully followed me off the bus one day and attacked me for no reason. I vowed to never let that happen again. I did not want to fight, I just wanted to be able to defend myself from pricks like him. I also got him suspended from school because of what he did.
24. I didn’t meet my dad until the age of 18. I went and visited him several times over the years, but we’ve lost contact. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 10 years.
25. I have two other brothers and a sister that I’ve never met on my dad’s side. I’d really like to meet them one day, but every time I brought it up to my dad he’d avoid giving me any details. I don’t think they even know about me.